5 Characteristics of Intimacy with The Intercessor (Romans 8:26)

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“Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”  Romans 8:26 (KJV)

This verse reveals that the Holy Spirit is not only our Helper but also our Intercessor in prayer. His intercession is an expression of His deep relationship with us, guiding us in prayer and aligning our hearts with the will of God. Throughout Scripture, we see that intimacy with God is not a new concept. Moses spoke with God face to face as a man spoke with his friend (Exodus 33:11). John, the beloved disciple, leaned on Jesus’ chest at the Last Supper and received an extraordinary revelation of heaven (John 13:23, Revelation 1:1).

As New Testament believers, we have the privilege of an even deeper intimacy because, in regeneration, our human spirit is joined with the Spirit of God, becoming one (1 Corinthians 6:17). But how does intimacy with the Holy Spirit look or feel like? One way to understand this is through the lens of the poetic book of love, the Song of Solomon. For instance, from Songs of Solomon 1:1-4, we draw the five characteristics below that begin to manifest when we enter into a deep, intimate relationship where agape or covenantal love is expressed by both parties.

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One, It’s Affectionate

Song of Solomon 1:2 (KJV) says, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine.” The term “kiss” in this verse signifies a close, affectionate encounter. When we cultivate intimacy with God, we begin to feel His presence in a tangible way. This is not a superficial or intellectual experience but one that touches the heart deeply. A common saying articulates this in the words: “That which does not affect your heart cannot change your life.”

Many believers pray out of duty rather than out of love. However, true intimacy with God means reaching a point where prayer is no longer just a discipline but a delight. The love of Christ constrains us (2 Corinthians 5:14-19), meaning that when we fall in love with God, our desires are shaped by Him. A heart that has experienced divine affection feels compelled to spend time with Him. A sure proof of reaching this affectionate stage is when we feel an ache in our spirit if we go a day without communion with Him. Just as a lover longs for their beloved, so should our hearts yearn for the presence of God.

Two, It’s Personal

Song of Solomon 1:2 again emphasizes, “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.” Notice the specificity: the kiss is of the mouth. This signifies an intimate, personal connection. You cannot give such a kiss to two people at the same time. This speaks of exclusivity and devotion. Likewise, intimacy with the Holy Spirit is personal. It is not a group experience but an individual relationship.

Apostle Paul echoes this concept in Ephesians 5:18: “Be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit.” Just as wine influences a person’s behavior, being filled with the Spirit changes how we perceive and respond to life. The deeper our intimacy, the more we are consumed by His presence. Are you drinking milk or wine? Milk spoils with time, but wine matures and gains potency. A believer who remains on milk struggles with spiritual endurance, but one who drinks the wine of the Spirit remains steadfast in God’s timeline, even when manifestations take time.

Three, It’s Pure

Song of Solomon 1:3 (KJV) declares, “Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee.” The word “virgins” in this verse signifies those who have kept themselves pure. Also, it tells us that the anointing attached to the name of Jesus manifests differently in different lives. The name of Jesus carries power, but its potency in one person’s mouth may differ from another’s based on their level of purity and consecration.

Purity is a hallmark of intimacy with the Holy Spirit. A close relationship with the Holy Spirit demands integrity and holiness. Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God” (Matthew 5:8). Holiness is not an option for those who seek intimacy with the Holy Spirit; it is a necessity. Psalm 24:3-4 asks, “Who shall ascend into the hill of the Lord? or who shall stand in his holy place? He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart.” If we desire to walk closely with the Intercessor, we must maintain purity in thought, word, and action.

Four, It’s Influential

Song of Solomon 1:4 (KJV) states, “Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.” Notice the shift from “me” to “we.” True intimacy with God is never self-contained; it influences others. When one person is drawn into deep fellowship with the Holy Spirit, they inevitably become a vessel through which others are drawn into God’s presence.

For example, Moses’s face shone with God’s glory after spending time in God’s presence (Exodus 34:29-35). Likewise, the apostles, after being with Jesus, were recognized as men who had been with Him (Acts 4:13). An intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit transforms us, and that transformation influences those around us. If you desire to impact your generation, intimacy with the Holy Spirit is the key. Influence is a byproduct of a life deeply rooted in God.

Five, It’s Private

Song of Solomon 1:4 also speaks of the king bringing the beloved into his chambers. This represents the secret place of intimacy. Intimacy with the Holy Spirit is cultivated in private like Jesus advised that we should go into the prayer closet and shut the door (Matthew 6:6). Many ministers operate solely from a public platform, neglecting their private altar and having a daily prayer life. Without a hidden life with God, ministry becomes mere customer service rather than a conduit of life and power.

Private intimacy with the Holy Spirit can be likened to root-taking. Colossians 2:7 urges us to be “rooted and built up in Christ.” Roots grow in hidden places. A tree with strong roots can withstand storms, but one with shallow roots will be easily uprooted. Isaiah 37:31 states, “And the remnant that is escaped of the house of Judah shall again take root downward, and bear fruit upward.” The depth of our private devotion determines the extent of our public impact. Jesus Himself withdrew to pray privately (Luke 5:16). If we neglect our private encounters with the Holy Spirit, we risk becoming spiritually dry and ineffective.

In conclusion, Romans 8:26 reveals the Holy Spirit as our Intercessor, guiding us into deep communion with God. Intimacy with Him is affectionate, personal, pure, influential, and private. Like wine that matures over time, our relationship with the Holy Spirit grows richer as we surrender more deeply. Are you cultivating true intimacy with the Intercessor? 

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